Funny Questions

  • 1. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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  • 2. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
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  • 3. Why do psychics ask your name?
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  • 4. If parents say, "Never take candy from strangers" then why do we celebrate Halloween?
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  • 5. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
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  • 6. How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
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  • 7. Do the English people eat English muffins, or are they just called muffins?
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  • 8. Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?
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  • 9. If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
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  • 10. How come you never see a billboard being put up by the highway?
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  • 11. If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?
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  • 12. Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
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  • 13. How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
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  • 14. What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
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  • 15. If a doctor suddenly had a heart attack while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
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  • 16. If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor?
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  • 17. At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?
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  • 18. Why put a towel in the dirty clothes basket if when you get out of the shower you are clean?
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  • 19. Do you wake up or open your eyes first?
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  • 20. When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?
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  • 21. Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?
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  • 22. Do the security guards at airports have to go through airport security when they get to work?
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  • 23. Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull a baby to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle on the ground?
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  • 24. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.
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  • 25. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
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  • 26. Why is it called a funny bone, when if you hit it, it's not funny at all?
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  • 27. If a bald person works as a chef at a restaurant, do they have to wear a hairnet?
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  • 28. Do siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?
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  • 29. If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
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  • 30. Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
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  • 31. If there's a speed of sound and a speed of light is there a speed of smell?
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  • 32. Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commericals that says "Not available in all states"?
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  • 33. Do prison buses have emergency exits?
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  • 34. Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
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  • 35. When there's two men who "get married", do they both go to the same bachelor party?
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  • 36. Do you yawn in your sleep?
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  • 37. What does PU stand for (as in "PU, that stinks!")?
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  • 38. If a stripper gets breast implants can she write it off on her taxes as a business expense?
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  • 39. Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
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  • 40. Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?
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  • 41. Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?
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  • 42. Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
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  • 43. If a baby's leg pops out at 11:59PM but his head doesn't come out until 12:01, which day was he born on?
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  • 44. Are eyebrows considered facial hair?
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  • 45. What would happen to the sea's water level if every boat in the World was taken out of the water at the same time?
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  • 46. Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
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  • 47. Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?
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  • 48. Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?
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  • 49. Why are all of the Harry Potter spells in Latin if they're English?
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  • 50. Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?
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  • 51. If a guy that was about to die in the electric chair had a heart attack should they save him?
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  • 52. When Atheists go to court, do they have to swear on the bible?
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  • 53. Is it rude for a deaf person to talk (sign) with their mouth full of food?
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  • 54. If you dug a hole through the center of the earth,and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?
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  • 55. How can something be "new" and "improved"? if it's new, what was it improving on?
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  • 56. When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?
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  • 57. Do astronauts change their clocks when they move over different time zones in space?
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  • 58. Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
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  • 59. Is it legal to travel down a road in reverse, as long as your following the direction of the traffic?
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  • 60. Do all-boys schools have girls bathrooms? Conversely, do all-girls schools have boys bathrooms?
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  • 61. What's the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup?
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  • 62. What happens if a queen gives birth to a pair of siamese twins? Who gets to be king?
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  • 63. How fast do hotcakes sell?
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  • 64. Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?
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  • 65. Can animals commit suicide?
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  • 66. Do people in prison celebrate halloween.... if so how?
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  • 67. What happens to an irrisitable force when it hits an immovable object?
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  • 68. Why can't donuts be square?
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  • 69. How come lemon washing up liquid contains real lemons, but lemon juice contains artificial flavorings.
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  • 70. Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when somebody turns the lights on?
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  • 71. Why is it that before 9/11 they always showed the emergency broadcast system test, and on 9/11 they never used it?
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  • 72. If milk goes bad if not refrigerated, does it go bad if the cow isnt refrigerated?
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  • 73. If a transvesite goes missing, would you put their face on a carton of Half and Half?
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  • 74. Why does grape flavor smell the way it is when actual grapes don't taste or smell anything like it.
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  • 75. Why do dogs like the smell of other dogs butts?
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  • 76. If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?
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  • 77. If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress?
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  • 78. If a person dies and then springs back to life, do they get their money back for the coffin?
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  • 79. Why do overalls have bel loops, since they are held up at the top by the straps?
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  • 80. If girls with large breasts work at Hooters, then do girls with one leg work at IHOP?
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  • 81. How come cats butts go up when you pet them?
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  • 82. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
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  • 83. Can a short person "talk down" to a taller person?
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  • 84. Why are they called 'Jolly Ranchers'? Who said that the ranchers were jolly?
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  • 85. Why is it that when we "skate on thin ice", we can "get in hot water"?
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  • 86. How does a Real Estate company sell its office without causing confusion?
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  • 87. Do they bury people with their braces on?
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  • 88. In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?
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  • 89. Why do people say beans beans the magical fruit when beans are vegetables?
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  • 90. Why aren't drapes double sided so it looks nice on the inside and outside of your home?
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  • 91. What is the stage of a reptile when it has eggs in it but they haven't been laid. Are they pregnant? If Mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
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  • 92. Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?
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  • 93. Can you daydream at night?
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  • 94. Why is the Lone Ranger called 'Lone' if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?
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  • 95. How far east can you go before you're heading west?
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  • 96. If you are asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and your the main witness, what if you say "no"?
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  • 97. Can crop circles be square?
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  • 98. What is Satan's last name?
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  • 99. When two people marry, they say, "you may kiss the bride". What do they say if two MEN get married?
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  • 100. Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
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  • 101. Can cannibals be arrested for being under the influence of alcohol (e.g. drunk-driving) if they have eaten someone who was drunk?
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  • 102. What do Greeks say when they don't understand something?
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  • 103. Why are the little styrofoam pieces called peanuts?
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  • 104. Why do people think that swaying their arm back and forth would change the direction of a bowling ball?
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  • 105. If, in a baseball game, the batter hits a ball splitting it right down the center with half the ball flying out of the park and the other half being caught, what is the final ruling?
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  • 106. If a cannibal was on death row could he ask for the last guy that was electricuted for his last meal?
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  • 107. If a lesbian has sex with other women but never with another man is she still considered a virgin?
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  • 108. If your driving a federal owned car, and you run a stop sign, is it considered a felony?
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  • 109. In the song Yankee Doodle, is he calling the horse or the feather "macaroni"?
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  • 110. If its 11:30 PM Dec 31 in Texas and 12:30 AM Jan 1st in New York and you have a New York driver's license that expires Jan 2007, does that mean your license has expired?
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  • 111. Where does the toetag go on a dead person if they don't have toes?
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  • 112. Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?
  • 113. If you were to get drunk in a country where the drinking limit is under 21, and went to the states and were still over the limit, could they arrest you for underage drinking even though you did not do the drinking in the states.
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  • 114. If a nursing mother had her nipples pierced would the milk come out of all three holes?
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  • 115. If someone has their nose pierced, have a cold, and take thier nose ring out. Does snot come out of the piercing hole?
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  • 116. Why is it that on a phone or calculator the number five has a little dot on it?
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  • 117. Why does Jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but when it "gels" the smell is gone?
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  • 118. Can a black person join the kkk?
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  • 119. Why are dogs noses always wet?
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