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Stupid Sentences

  • 1
    I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.
    1621
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  • 2
    The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, and the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.
    265
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  • 3
    Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
    192
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  • 4
    Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
    168
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  • 5
    Practice makes perfect.. But nobody's perfect.. so why practice?
    153
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  • 6
    I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting to get into the bathroom.
    137
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  • 7
    Life is just a game, but atleast the graphics are awesome!
    128
    2 years ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 8
    When I was born I was so surprised, I couldn't talk for a year and a half.
    123
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  • 9
    There are two rules to success in life: 1) Dont tell everything that you know.
    106
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  • 10
    Would you like to hear the pencil joke? Well, it's pointless.
    105
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  • 11
    Money is not everything. There's MasterCard and Visa.
    89
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  • 12
    A balanced diet is a chocolate chip cookie in each hand.
    88
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  • 13
    I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
    84
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  • 14
    Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
    82
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  • 15
    Anyone who says "nothing is impossible" has obviously never tried to staple jello to a tree.
    77
    1 year ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 16
    Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
    77
    4 years ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 17
    I am in shape. Round is a shape.
    74
    4 years ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 18
    Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
    71
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  • 19
    If you get this message, call me, and if you don't get it, don't call.
    69
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  • 20
    An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
    68
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  • 21
    If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
    65
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  • 22
    Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
    65
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  • 23
    In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
    65
    4 years ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 24
    On the other hand... you have different fingers.
    64
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  • 25
    There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
    61
    4 years ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 26
    I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
    60
    2 years ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 27
    I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
    60
    4 years ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 28
    Only drug dealers and software companies call their customers 'users'.
    60
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  • 29
    My parents made me what I am today. I'm thinking of suing.
    59
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  • 30
    Where ever you go, there you are.
    49
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  • 31
    Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
    48
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  • 32
    Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
    48
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  • 33
    I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add.
    47
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  • 34
    90% of all statistics are made up.
    44
    4 years ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 35
    He who laughs last thinks slowest!
    43
    4 years ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 36
    Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
    41
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  • 37
    Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?!"
    37
    1 year ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 38
    God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.
    36
    4 years ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 39
    I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
    35
    1 year ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 40
    I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
    35
    4 years ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 41
    Hard work never killed any body. But why take the risk?
    34
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  • 42
    I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
    33
    1 year ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 43
    Deja moo! I swear that's the exact same cow we passed about six miles ago.
    31
    4 years ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 44
    I'm not myself today. Maybe I'm you.
    31
    4 years ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 45
    “Work fascinates me” I can look at it for hours!
    27
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  • 46
    Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?
    24
    4 years ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 47
    You can't have everything...where would you put it?
    23
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  • 48
    I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
    16
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  • 49
    A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.
    10
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  • 50
    It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
    8
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  • 51
    Is it time for your medication or mine?
    -13
    4 years ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 52
    Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.
    -18
    4 years ago - Show Facebook Like