Stupid Sentences

• 1. I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.

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• 2. The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, and the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.

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• 3. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

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• 4. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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• 5. Practice makes perfect.. But nobody's perfect.. so why practice?

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• 6. I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting to get into the bathroom.

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• 7. When I was born I was so surprised, I couldn't talk for a year and a half.

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• 8. I was born intelligent - education ruined me.

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• 9. Money is not everything. There's MasterCard and Visa.

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• 10. Would you like to hear the pencil joke? Well, it's pointless.

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• 11. A balanced diet is a chocolate chip cookie in each hand.

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• 12. There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.

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• 13. I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

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• 14. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

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• 15. If you get this message, call me, and if you don't get it, don't call.

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• 16. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

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• 17. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

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• 18. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

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• 19. Only drug dealers and software companies call their customers 'users'.

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• 20. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.

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• 21. An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

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• 22. On the other hand... you have different fingers.

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• 23. I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add.

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• 24. In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

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• 25. My parents made me what I am today. I'm thinking of suing.

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• 26. He who laughs last thinks slowest!

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• 27. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

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• 28. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

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• 29. God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.

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• 30. Where ever you go, there you are.

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• 31. Deja moo! I swear that's the exact same cow we passed about six miles ago.

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• 32. 90% of all statistics are made up.

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• 33. Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

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• 34. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

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• 35. I'm not myself today. Maybe I'm you.

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• 36. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

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• 37. “Work fascinates me” I can look at it for hours!

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• 38. Hard work never killed any body. But why take the risk?

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• 39. Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?

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• 40. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

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• 41. A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.

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• 42. You can't have everything...where would you put it?

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• 43. Is it time for your medication or mine?

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• 44. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

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• 45. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.

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