Top 100 Sentences

  • 1. I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.
    Stupid Sentence added 938 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 2. I'll buy you 11 Roses; 10 real and 1 fake. And I'll love you until the last rose dies.
    Romantic Sentence added 1076 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 3. I stepped on a Cornflake, and now I am a cereal killer.
    Funny Sentence added 743 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 4. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
    Funny Question added 938 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 5. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
    Funny Question added 938 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 6. Nobody dies a virgin, because life fucks us all.
    Funny Sentence added 692 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 7. Future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep.
    Funny Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 8. You all laugh because I'm different - I laugh because you're all the same.
    Funny Sentence added 1214 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 9. You are the light of my life. Before I met you, I walked in the dark.
    Romantic Sentence added 849 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 10. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
    Mean Sentence added 938 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 11. I heard you were dating my ex -- how do I taste?
    Mean Sentence added 1117 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 12. The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, and the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 13. Why do psychics ask your name?
    Funny Question added 938 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 14. Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.
    Funny Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 15. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 16. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 17. If parents say, "Never take candy from strangers" then why do we celebrate Halloween?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 18. SL_T. All I need is U.
    Rude Sentence added 743 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 19. Practice makes perfect.. But nobody's perfect.. so why practice?
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 20. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
    Funny Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 21. I don't get older. I level up.
    Funny Sentence added 439 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 22. I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting to get into the bathroom.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 23. When I was born I was so surprised, I couldn't talk for a year and a half.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 24. Call me cursed or call me blessed. If you can't handle my worst, you ain't getting my best.
    Wise Sentence added 410 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 25. Life is just a game, but atleast the graphics are awesome!
    Stupid Sentence added 438 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 26. Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
    Funny Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 27. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 28. Would you like to hear the pencil joke? Well, it's pointless.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 29. How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 30. Do the English people eat English muffins, or are they just called muffins?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 31. Opinions are like assholes; everybody's got one, and they're often full of shit.
    Funny Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 32. Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 33. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.
    Mean Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 34. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
    Funny Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 35. There are two rules to success in life: 1) Dont tell everything that you know.
    Stupid Sentence added 438 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 36. If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 37. How come you never see a billboard being put up by the highway?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 38. Money is not everything. There's MasterCard and Visa.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 39. If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 40. Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 41. A balanced diet is a chocolate chip cookie in each hand.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 42. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more.
    Funny Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 43. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 44. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 45. I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 46. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
    Nonsense Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 47. On the side of a milk carton: Allergy advice - May Contain Traces of Milk
    Funny Notice added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 48. If you are born ugly blame your parents, if you died ugly blame your doctor.
    Funny Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 49. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 50. How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 51. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 52. What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 53. On the other hand... you have different fingers.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 54. In a cementery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
    Funny Notice added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 55. If you get this message, call me, and if you don't get it, don't call.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 56. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 57. In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 58. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 59. An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 60. I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
    Stupid Sentence added 438 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 61. If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 62. Only drug dealers and software companies call their customers 'users'.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 63. If a doctor suddenly had a heart attack while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 64. I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 65. "Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife." - Groucho Marx.
    Famous Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 66. My wife says picking my nose is disgusting, so now I have to do it myself.
    Funny Sentence added 1214 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 67. At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 68. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
    Mean Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 69. My parents made me what I am today. I'm thinking of suing.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 70. If practice makes perfect, and I am doing it wrong, then I am doing it perfectly wrong.
    Nonsense Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 71. There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 72. Why put a towel in the dirty clothes basket if when you get out of the shower you are clean?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 73. Broken pencils are pointless.
    Funny Sentence added 221 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 74. Do you wake up or open your eyes first?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 75. On an Athi River Highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
    Funny Mistranslation added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 76. I wonder if a receptionist at a sperm bank has ever used the phrase: 'Thanks for coming.'
    Rude Sentence added 375 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 77. A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
    Funny Sentence added 221 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 78. At a Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
    Funny Mistranslation added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 79. Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 80. Where ever you go, there you are.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 81. When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 82. I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
    Funny Sentence added 221 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 83. "Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett
    Famous Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 84. Notice at a Public Bar: OUR PUBLIC BAR IS PRESENTLY NOT OPEN BECAUSE IT'S CLOSED - Manager
    Funny Notice added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 85. Do the security guards at airports have to go through airport security when they get to work?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 86. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
    Rude Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 87. Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
    Funny Mistranslation added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 88. Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
    Funny Sentence added 221 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 89. A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer: DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
    Funny Mistranslation added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 90. Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull a baby to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle on the ground?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 91. He who laughs last thinks slowest!
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 92. Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
    Funny Sentence added 221 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 93. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 94. "When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." - Sacha Guitry.
    Famous Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 95. 90% of all statistics are made up.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 96. On the grounds of a private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
    Funny Notice added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 97. I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add.
    Stupid Sentence added 1219 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 98. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
    Funny Sentence added 221 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 99. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like
  • 100. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
    Funny Question added 1213 days ago - Show Facebook Like